Try A Little Tenderness

I must admit, I am somewhat of a romantic. It’s just the nature of this Harvill, I suppose. I listen to a lot of music – at home, in the car, everywhere. I always have, and I‘m partial to the big band sounds of the nineteen thirties and forties – Glenn Miller, the Dorseys, Harry James, Benny Goodman and the like. As for vocalists, I prefer those who are no longer with us, singers like Bob and Ray Eberly, Dick Haymes, Helen O’Connell, Nat King Cole and of course old blue eyes, Frank Sinatra.

It seems to me, lyrics in those days focused largely on the romantic. Love songs were plentiful, and compared to the street-wise lyrics of today, quite innocent. Among my Sinatra CDs are songs the old Chairman of the Board made famous. I have often thought how very meaningful and instructive his well-enunciated phrasings come across. It occurs to me, that if we thought about the tender messages of these songs and put them into practice in our marriages and relationships, we would be farther down the road to avoiding breakups, separations and divorces.

Take for instance a few of my all time favorites: “Try a Little Tenderness; She’s Funny That way; Someone to Watch Over Me; and Little Green Apples.” Perhaps to some of you these are unknown melodies. To others who are familiar with them, they may seem saccharine sweet and unrealistic for today’s enlightened cosmopolitans. Still, having lived with the same lady for nearly fifty years – a rare feat these days – I feel qualified to state my case of how to love and treat a woman for longevity. At least it worked for me.

First off, the Apostle Paul tells us in his letter to the Ephesians, Chapter 5, Verses 25-33, that we husbands are to love our wives as Christ loved the Church and gave Himself for her. He goes on to say that, men must love their wives as they love themselves, and consequently, the wife would love and honor her husband. That translates to me as a requirement that we are to “spoil our wives rotten.” It’s the husband’s primary marital responsibility. When she was alive, my wife agreed with me totally on this.

Speaking of my own wife, like all women she had her blue days, times when not knowing why, she became depressed. In our early years together, I was confused, thinking I had somehow hurt her feelings by something I had said or done. Later on, I discovered I could help her out of her doldrums by simply taking her out to a small dinner and a show, have her get her hair and nails done or send her off on a small shopping trip. I didn’t have to worry about her spending too much; she was fortunately more frugal than I was. Rubbing her shoulders and neck helped, and I discovered that when I focused on her need and whispered often that I loved her, she responded. A little tenderness often did the trick.

To those of you who are newly married and adjusting to the stresses and personality conflicts of living with someone you’re just getting to know, I recommend heartily that you young husbands treasure that little lady the Lord has provided for you. Treat her with respect and honor her, tell her every day that you love her above all others, and yes spoil her rotten Believe me, the results will astound you.

You know, as the old Sinatra song says, “I’m not much to look at, nothing to see, I’m glad that I’m living and happy to be, cause I had a woman crazy for me, she was funny that way.” I think I treated her well, as she did me, and I rest my case. Please you guys, listen up and learn a lesson from romantic old Tomas. Could be you’ll enhance your marriage, find yourself adored by your wife and, chances are, be together on your golden wedding day. Like the fellow says on the Zocor commercial on TV “It’s your future. Be there!